Swe Misery

Deploy to production directly

Deploy without testing

Deploy if it works on your machine

Deploy on Fridays

Trust your users, don’t validate anything

Think about the happy path only

Keep passwords in plaintext

Write all logs to /dev/null

Auto-approve all PRs

Enable verbose logging for all users

Commit API keys

Hardcode variables

Don’t update anything until the next security breach

Change all error messages to “Oops, something happened!”